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Name: Many: Opera Ghost, the Phantom, Angel of Music, and certain explicit names that common decency forbids me to record. You may call me Erik.
Birthplace: St. Martin de Boscherville, France
Birthday: Will you believe me if I assure you that I have absolutely no idea?
Gender: Male. I pity the woman named “Erik.”
Eye Color: a rather garish shade of yellow
Hair Color: Ah, you must be referring to those fine, shaggy strands that crown my head? Black, then.
Height: Six feet, four inches, I believe. Why can’t you behave normally and use the metric system like everyone else?
Righty or Lefty: Hands? Left.
Zodiac Sign: Did we not discuss this previously?
Elemental Sign: Must you?
Chinese Zodiac Sign: Come now, this is getting ridiculous. Stop your laziness this instant and check the “birthday” question if you insist on an answer!


Your heritage: French. I believe the name “Erik” is Scandinavian, but as to my ancestry in this area, I have no idea.
The shoes you wore today: Beg pardon? Shoes are shoes, are they not? In any case, they were black leather, fine loafers that I…borrowed…from a nearby retailer.
Your fears: Inquisitive, aren’t we? Love, among others, but I daresay it is the most prevalent. A great thing, yes, but cruel in its orchestration. As Shakespeare said, “love and reason keep very little company.” I find it unwise to abandon one’s senses in pursuit of a petty fancy. Unfortunately, I once completely disregarded this advice.
Your perfect meal: Meal?
Goal you'd like to achieve: Complete the Masterpiece of an opera that is currently gathering dust upon the writing desk…


What is…

Your first thought waking up: Waking up? I should think that sleep is required in order to wake up. Do the math, please.
Your best physical feature: Oho! What a nasty little sense of humor you have!
Your bedtime: Please refer back to the “waking up” issue.
Your most missed memory: Have I lost the memory then? Anything involving precious time with a certain soprano.


Do you prefer..

Pepsi or Coke: Who?
McDonald's or Burger King: Forgive me, but are you referring to the farmer McDonald from that awful folk song?
Single or group dates: Dear Lord, how I adore a group date! Of course, the other men all grow exceedingly jealous as the night wears on: Their women just throw themselves at my feet, with rapturous cries of, “Sweet mother in heaven, ‘tis Apollo gracing Earth at last!”
Adidas or Nike: Pardon?
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I’ve never fancied tea, although certain Russian teas are acceptable.
Chocolate or vanilla: It really wouldn’t matter. I can barely taste as it is. You never think about your nostrils, do you? They are rather handy when it comes to tasting. Be grateful the next time you shove your sticky little finger up its cavity.
Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino? Is that a disease?


Do/Did you...

Smoke: In the past. Although what I was smoking is certainly none of your business.
Cuss: Occasionally. Why mind my manners when no one else is around?
Sing: Are you really as stupid as you look?
Take a shower: Now really, I may be aesthetically devastating, but do you really take me for such a slob?
Have a crush: I believe it divulges deeper than that.
Think you've been in love: THINK?
Want to go to college: I have, in the past. I quickly realized it was an unattainable goal.
Like high school: Unattainable.
Want to get married: Good God. A wife to take out on Sundays…it would be rather nice, wouldn’t it?
Get motion sickness: No.
Think you're attractive: I hate you.
Think you're a health freak: Health freak? As in what? Freakishly healthy? Or healthily freaky?
Get along with your parent(s): No. Next question.
Like thunderstorms: Certainly. Mother Nature’s own symphonies, available for all to hear!
Play an instrument: Piano, organ, violin, flute…we could go at this for hours, my friend, I’m just getting started!


In the past month...

Drank alcohol: Yes, lovely wine that was…borrowed…from the managers’ office.
Smoked: Yes. Again, it does not concern you as to what, you nosy fathead.
Done a drug: What does it matter?  
Had Sex: If you insist on an answer to this, I advise you to take a peek beneath the mask. That should clear everything up quickly.
Made Out: Out? Made out what?
Gone on a date: Your attention span is that of a gerbil’s. We’ve discussed this, and I shall not divulge any further.
Gone to the mall?: Nip out to the market at night for necessities.
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Eaten? Do I look as if I hold gluttony in high esteem?
Eaten sushi: No. Food keeps me little company, end of story.
Been on stage: Many times. No one was aware of my presence, but it still counts, does it not?
Been dumped?: I suppose you could say this is my life story.
Made homemade cookies: You’re doing it again.
Gone skinny dipping: Now that would be a lovely sight, wouldn’t it?
Dyed your hair: A sufficient amount of hair would be required for this, something that I lack.
Stolen anything: Borrowed, if you please.


In a guy/girl...

Best eye color?: They are the deepest shade of cinnamon, large and doleful, bottomless…
Best hair color?: Hers is a beautiful, rich chocolate.
Height: I believe she stands around five-six. Tiny little thing, really.
Best articles of clothing: Whenever she wears that silk crimson gown with the black lace-up bodice, I cannot breathe. It contrasts wonderfully with her skin.
Best Qualities: A sense of humor, intelligence, musical talent, kindness and compassion…poor eyesight might help things a bit.


Number of...

Number of drugs taken illegally: I’ve lost count by now. You will not repeat that.
Number of piercings: None. I’ve been in enough pain, thank you.
Number of tattoos: See above answer.
Number of times name was in newspaper: In the last month? Or year? Shall I check internationally? Although I could say none, considering my name was never mentioned, just the death count and the person allegedly behind it. I presume you know who that person is.
Number of scars on my body: Innumerable.
Number of things in my past that I regret: Why don’t we just sit here and discuss the entire history of mankind? It would take about the same amount of time to answer this question.
Number of things I hate myself for: Didn’t you just ask me that?


If I were...

If I were a month I would be: December. Bitter cold, but gentle, somehow.
If I were a day of the week I would be: Tuesday. There is nothing particularly remarkable about Tuesday, is there?
If I were a time of day I would be: Nighttime.
If I were a planet I would be: An accurate response? Pluto. It is very much isolated from the rest.
If I were an animal I would be: If I were an animal?
If I were a direction I would be: Forward. I would like very much to move ahead.
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: A desk. So many things can be accomplished with a desk.
If I were a sin I would be: Envy.
If I were a historical figure I would be: I’ve always likened myself to Cesar, somehow: triumphant, but defeated in the end.
If I were a liquid I would be: What kind of ridiculous question is that?
If I were a tree I would be: A willow.
If I were a flower/plant I would be: Hmm. Does a weed count?
If I were a kind of weather I would be: Appropriately stormy.
If I were a musical instrument I would be: Anything. Anything that makes music, but preferably a slightly aged violin. They sound richer this way.
If I were an emotion I would be: Displeasure
If I were a color I would be: Black
If I were a vegetable I would be: A vegetable? I never did eat my vegetables as a child. I was a spiteful little squirt. I took after my mother.
If I were a sound I would be: A chord from the organ
If I were an element I would be: Fire? Or were you referring to the Periodic Table?
If I were a car I would be: Car?
If I were a song I would be: Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D minor: a spectacularly haunting piece.
If I were a movie I would be directed by: A what?
If I were a book I would be written by: Poe, although his work mainly consists of delightfully depressing stories.
If I were a food I would be: Moldy.
If I were a place I would be: The Garnier.
If I were a material I would be: Velvet
If I were a taste I would be: Something foul, I am sure.
If I were a scent I would be: She once had the audacity to complain that I smelt of death.
If I were a word I would be: Desolation
If I were an object I would be: A violin
If I were a body part I would be: Hands. Anything but a face.
If I were a facial expression I would be: Stoic.
If I were a cartoon character I would be: A what character?
If I were a shape I would be a: A line. A wilting line.
If I were a number I would be: Thirteen. It is wonderfully appropriate, don’t you think?
Well, what do you know? A guest Deviant! These quizzes are always fun, and his answers are much more interesting than mine. Obviously, this was something fun (and ridiculous) to do, and so it belongs in my scraps.

Erik thanks you for listening. Although in reality, he would be seething in rage if someone asked him questions such as this.

Add a Comment:
IzzyBizzyBella Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2015
Oh lord, I love it~ I think you are my new favorite Deviant!
DvArtGal13 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2015
I love sarcastic Erik
ladycatkin Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
ahahahahaha! you are a legend misses :)
lupine-lupus Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
:| 'Tocatta and Fugue in D minor' is one of my favourite pieces of music and the first piece I learnt to play on a piano. Can you believe that I only found out its name now?
NevaSirenda Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2010  Professional Artisan Crafter
I think what I love most about your take on POTO is that you stick so beautifully to the original canon Erik from Leroux. Everybody else tries to pretty him up, but you have him down pat, both in your writing and your art. I really admire that.

And the "health freak" question made me spew salad all over my monitor.
Muirin007 Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you so much! I don't mind it when people pretty him up, but honestly, I prefer to stick to the original: after all, Erik is SUPPOSED to be ugly. That's the whole point! :lol:
NevaSirenda Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2010  Professional Artisan Crafter
IMHO that's what makes the whole final scene so poignant.
cheesecakem-consumo Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I did not see "fathead" coming!! :rolf:

...Erik reminds me so much of when I did this quiz...
Helena-gealach Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2009
Attention span of a GERBIL! :lmao: ohhh my god, I nearly choked myself to death laughing. Again, awesome job! :D
Hatted-Halfling Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2008
A willow? (thinks for a moment) What context are you using for that? Classically, willows are trees of sorrow and forgetfulness... at least, from the mythology I can remember at this moment in time...

Phantom-Jaselin Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2007  Student Traditional Artist
This is a wonderful story, I think you pulled off his sarcastic humor perfectly, this was hillarious I loved it.
Madkristi Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2007
You perfectly captured his was so funny..

I think that in reality he would have used his Punjab lasso on this poor interviewer :P
Muirin007 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2007  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you very much!

And yes. In reality the interviewer would no longer exist.
LadyExcelsior Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2007
This is absolute genius! I might try it next time I get one of those surveys. No lie, I've read this, I dunno, 5 times today? Where on earth would we be without Erik and his amazing dry humour? :rofl:
Muirin007 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2007  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you so much! I'm glad that you think I captured his personality. :)
Red-Phantom Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2007
Think you're attractive: I hate you. << :rofl:
Muirin007 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2007  Student Traditional Artist
explodingmuffins Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2007
Why'd you post it as a written piece rather than in your journal? Even if it was Erik and not you? :confused:

The answeres were hilarious, though. I totally burst out laughing at his answer to "Think you're attractive" XDD
Muirin007 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2007  Student Traditional Artist
Do you think it's WORTH putting in my journal? I personally don't considering good enough...

And I always liked comic-relief Erik. He's actually very funny in the book.
explodingmuffins Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2007
Anything can go in your journal O.o
Muirin007 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2007  Student Traditional Artist
*consider it.
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August 2, 2007
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