1. Whats an awesome acronym of your name? Every Rat Is Kind (Don't look at me that way...I'm unreasonably exhausted this evening.)
2. Do you feel taller or shorter than you really are? I'm rather tall to begin with, actually.
3. Do you act younger or older than you really are? Oh, most certainly both. The majority of the time, I behave like a cantankerous old codger, but I can certainly throw tantrums worthy of a furious child.
4. What do you think your best physical trait on your face is? Ha!
5. What do you think other people think of you? "I do not want that funereal creature coming near me again!" And that, my friend, is a quote.
6. Name three specific things make you happy. Christine, Music, and Books.
7. Combine three of your favorite words to make one awesome word. Muchrisooks. Eugh.
Whats your favorite
8. Way to wake up? Devoid of nightmares.
9. Way to fall asleep? Devoid of the possibility of nightmares.
11. Television show from the seventies? Quoi?
12. Way to cook eggs? I am not a fan of eggs, to be honest. The texture makes me gag.
13. Day of the week? But aren't they all just one long, frustrating blur?
14. Season of the year? Winter, although this past one left me sneezing something terrible. (Quite a messy activity if one is without a nose, let me tell you.)
16. If your life was an action film, and you were driving, and someone was about to have a head-on with you because they were paid to assassinate you, what would you do?
.....what on earth are you talking about? Am I to assume this is something perverted?
18. How many dances in Middle School did you go to? Did they suck or rock? Alas, I never attended school.
19. How do you normally wake someone up? Heavens, I wouldn't dream of touching her and interrupting her slumber!
20. Does your jewelry have some special significance to you? I'll let slip a secret, if you promise to keep it as such: Years ago, when I was in Persia, my left ear was pierced. I often wore a dangling wolf's tooth in the hole, although why is currently beyond me. I gather I looked more ridiculous than usual. (Rest assured that I've no idea what became of that wolf. I never saw it, nor did I slaughter it, nor do I condone that sort of killing. The tooth was presented to me, most likely as a peace offering of some sort. The shah probably didn't want his Angel of Death slithering about the town and slaughtering children, or something of that caliber.)
21. If you had $20,000, but couldnt spend it on yourself, what would you do with it? Give it to her, without a second thought.
22. What is one unique thing about your dream house? It is entirely invisible if I wish it to be so!
23. If you were offered the chance to go into outer-space, but you had to stay five years off of Earth, would you? Now that sounds like something...five years without people...
24. Would you rather get a gift thats practical and useful or something heartfelt with no real use? For this to occur, someone would have to harbor a conscious need to present me with a gift, and as the very thought is laughable, I shall dismiss this question.
26. Do some songs remind you of the past? Yes. Don Juan burns with that past.
27. A heavy sleeper? Never.
30. Addicted to something? Ah...well, old habits die hard, I'm ashamed to say.
31. Scared of death? Of life? Death, I embrace. It is life that often worries me.
33. Happy where you live, or do you wish you were somewhere else? I've dreamt of the sea lately, and I haven't the faintest idea why.
34. Good at something that only you can do? Have you ever met anyone else that can throw a lasso with such measured skill, or singlehandedly ruin an entire opera simply by throwing his voice? Indeed, have you ever met such a successful "ghost?"
35. Afraid to take action, or do you act without thinking? Both, and both in the wrong situations.
36. Going trick-or-treating this/next Halloween? I beg your pardon?
37. Worried about the future? No. I see nothing worth worrying about, save the monotony.
38. Deeper than anyone thinks? I like to think so...I still desperately want to believe that I am worth knowing, strange as it may seem. I am very contradictory, wouldn't you agree?
39. Tap your foot incessantly just out of reflex? Why, yes! It drives Nadir up the wall, incidentally.
40. Keep a journal/diary? Any specific kind? (i.e., dream log, relationship log, etc.) No. Who would want to read such gruesome thoughts?
41. Go to the dentist every six months? How I loathe doctors, those prodding, prying, pickle-headed pricks...
42. Wish you were of a different ethnicity? I've never considered it.
43. Look at your reflection as you pass by car windows? Look at the TV when youre walking into a shopping place and they have a camera on you? Only if I wish to vomit and grow steadily angrier.
45. Want to head butt someone in the face? Oh, yes. Quite often. Right now, in fact.
46. Have a secret gesture with a buddy to signify something? No, but I have used a certain rude hand gesture numerous times.
47. Talk to your pets in the most ridiculous voice ever? Are you referring to that high-pitched squeal that reduces the listener to equally sanguine puddles of goop? Then yes.
48. Want to go back in time? No, no, no. Once is quite enough, thank you.
49. Like to stay up all night and sleep all day? Indubitably. Minus the sleeping.
50. Carry a good luck charm? Luck is a delusion bestowed upon the ignorant.
51. Drool in your sleep? I have never stayed awake to check.
52. Use crazy words that no one else uses just for kicks? Yes. And now that you have asked, I can think of none.
53. Have a sweet tooth? Very rarely.
54. Love life? I am smitten. She just isn't aware of it. (That is certainly for the better.)
55. Ever rhyme for fun? Why, yes I do. It's often fun. The weight of words can amount to a ton. (Do not quote me, that was dreadful.)
56. Wear clothes because you have to, or because you like to? The world would be in terrible shape if I suddenly chose to prance about naked.
57. Think of somebody at least once a day? Thousands of times a day...
58. Cling to whatevers next to you while watching scary movies? It is difficult to be frightened when you are the very thing that the masses fear.
59. Have a secret no one (no one) knows about? An abundance.
60. Remember anything personal by its distinct scent? Smelling is beyond me. Count your blessings whenever you push aside your nostril to dig for gold up there.
61. Remember your first scar? No. They've just...always been there, it seems.
62. Know someone that has really bad breath but you never say anything to them about it? Now this is the one and only reason I can be thankful that my sense of smell is poor.
Have you ever
63. Written a song or poem for/about someone else? Yes. Many. All about her. (Egad, that sounds worse than I thought it did.)
64. Punched anyone in the face with your fist? Yes. It was invigorating.
65. Caught a part of your body on fire? Yes. Although, it was more like someone set me on fire, but let us ignore the technicalities.
68. Coughed or sneezed on someone else by accident? On purpose, yes. Again, sneezing through a gaping whole proves to be a terrible mess for your enemies to clean up...poor, enduring Nadir.
69. Listened to the same song twenty times in a row, shouting out the lyrics every time? I never shout lyrics. Do you know how cruel that is to your vocal chords?
70. Done a back flip via trampoline or otherwise? Front flip? Woe to the day when I take up acrobatics.
71. Carried someone else onto a bed? Pushing doesnt count. Yes, and it was marvelous. (Oh, wipe that nasty smirk off your face. Nothing happened, you nincompoop.)
73. Talked back to a teacher who really deserved it? I was, regrettably, never tutored, but I had quite the mouth so it was likely that I would have.
74. Pretended to be asleep for some reason? Yes. Mother was fooled easily.
75. Killed a man with your bare hands? I will not skirt around the issue and answer "yes" here, and to further your disgust, I will say that I enjoyed many of those murders because I am a deluded madman with issues that could fill up a medical textbook.
76. Gone thirty mph over the speed limit? I am not one for racing.
77. Had a funeral for a guinea pig/hamster/small rodent? Rat, no. Dog, yes. I was nine, forgive me.
78. Covered someone elses mouth to make them be quiet? Had this happen to you? I do not need to resort to such measures. Once glance will do.
79. Kicked a door down with your foot? Yes. I hardly even scuffed my boots. I should be so proud of myself.
80. Smashed a pumpkin/watermelon from a tall height? Now that is just ridiculous.
81. Talked on the phone for three hours? ???
82. Been on a road trip with friends? Nadir would willingly strangle himself.
83. Talked about a teacher with a friend, only to have the teacher show up right behind you? Again, no school here.
85. Seen a movie (The Truman Show, The Matrix) and become paranoid for a while that there were people behind the scenes in your life too? Je ne comprends pas.
86. Caught someones fist while they were trying to hit you? Slap you? Mais, oui.
87. Had a staring contest (and they didnt know it) with someone while they were talking to you? No. Is that sort of thing amusing to you?
89. Used a really big word trying to impress people, but they pointed out you had no idea what you were talking about? No. I see no need to impress anyone.
90. Dove (not jumped) from a bridge or something high into water? Yes. That particular tactic comes in handy when one is on the run.
91. Stopped liking a song or band because it became popular? Good music is good music, regardless of what the majority thinks. Then again, I've never been one to listen to the majority.
92. Stopped liking a song or band because it became unpopular? I will not repeat myself here.
93. Been quoted for a newspaper? I can see it now: Interview With the Opera Ghost. "O.G. remarked, "You all give me massive headaches and vicious indigestion."
95. Used a lame pick-up line to see if it would really work, and then played it off as a joke if it didnt? Dating never went well with me. I am more the "hole thyself away forevermore" type.
96. Crushed a can on your forehead? ???
97. Been hit on? By a drunk person? That is most likely the only reason any woman would ever approach me. Alcohol does strange things indeed...and trust me, I can say that from experience.
98. Sung a song to someone in front of a lot of people? Years ago, I used to dream of performing, but such fantasies are long past.
And, my dutiful listener, I bid you bon nuit. Allow me to tip my hat and say, it only gets worse from here.