Hard core, man

2 min read

Deviation Actions

Muirin007's avatar
By
Muirin007
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Today at work, an older gentleman came in and asked how much it would cost to make copies of nine pages from a law book. I told him that at fifteen cents per page, his order would cost $1.35. He put one elbow on the counter, waggled his eyebrows, and said, “I bet you could use that for your party money, huh?”

I had to refrain from cackling because a) $1.35 won’t even buy a pack of those noisemakers you use to annoy your parents on New Year’s Eve and b) I am the absolute farthest thing from a party girl ever. My idea of a party involves Disney karaoke, sliding on the tile in my socks, and rolling around on the floor until my gas is gone. I have had, in total, approximately four to five whole glasses of wine in my entire life. I do not twerk, grind, bump, or air hump. I do not shake my thing up in the club with my homies. I do not participate in keggers. The shortest skirt I own comes to the middle of my knees. I would rather wear a bustle than a bikini. When I see pictures of Captain Morgan, I don’t recall raucous episodes of debauchery I have wrought upon the unsuspecting masses. I think about 18th-century tavern songs I could sing while swilling a tankard full of gingerale. 

They call me “Wild Thang.”

© 2014 - 2024 Muirin007
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CrazyEEP's avatar
CrazyEEP
It's like we're twins or something...sooooo. Party time? :D